Updated: Sep 29, 2020
Complex - "consisting of many different and connected parts."
Meticulous - "showing great attention to detail; very careful and precise."
Discovering and dedicating yourself to a sacred calling is key to your liberation.
You are intent on finding and embracing your sense of integrity. There's a part of you that's incredibly complex and layered, and you're coming to realize you're no sellout.
You are learning how to honor your code in life by listening to your instincts rather than others' thoughts. Your sense of values is not based on the latest trends, fame, wealth, or status.
You're not like everyone else; your thinking is different from the mainstream, and you intend on living life according to your rhythms, purpose, and meaning. A part of you is analytical and detail-oriented; you can notice everything, set high standards for yourself, and work meticulously to reach your goals.
Depending on your environment and life experience, you may or may not naturally follow these impulses. You might relate to this part of yourself, or it might feel impossible and scary even to think this way.
But for you to feel truly authentic, aligned, and content, it's imperative that you find where calling that feels sacred to you, money and prestige are irrelevant for you. The process of doing something you feel born to do must become the priority and focus of your life.
Embrace your independent, unconventional, introverted side, and do things your way. Learn to feel comfortable spending time alone and in your own space to reflect and process - being in nature can be helpful.
You likely have a perfectionist streak and may have a specific process around work, or a way of doing things that gives order and meaning to your life. If your routine is disturbed, you may feel thrown off and want to fix it.
You might be perceived as obsessive or overly critical, but that's not how you view it - you see where things can be improved. But be careful, don't go too far in maintaining your routines or become a workaholic. If you find yourself obsessing over every detail to a point where nothing cuts, then this is a sign you're off track. Let go of any compulsive behavior.
You do things in your own way, but you might have fears about expressing your unique nature or pressured to conform and be like everyone else. In response, you may repress your desire to find a meaningful purpose. You could lower your standards and sell yourself out, pursuing something that isn't important to you or hiding your true nature.
You might forfeit your integrity, feeling it's impossible to do anything that makes a difference. Possibly hating your job, you may become a cog in a wheel and frustrated at every moment. If you find yourself working hard for the wrong reasons, or in an unsatisfying career, then you need to re-evaluate.
The same can be said for your relationships. If you're compromising your needs, lowering your standards, or trying to change your personality to make others happy, you're headed in the wrong direction, and that would feel you unhappy and bounded in the long run.
In your long-term, committed partnerships, you're learning that to be truly happy, you need your partner to satisfy you on all levels: intellectually, emotionally, and physically.
For you more than others, you need to follow your instincts to feel healthy and satisfied. It would be easy to give in to your fears or pressure and deny who you indeed are; instead, quiet those voices and embrace your complicated nature.
Ultimately, all these choices are yours to make, and these instructions are merely clues. It's not necessarily the path of least resistance, but it's a possibility for what could be and for how you might feel truly fulfilled.